A variable's request to join the equation

The dragon
Yeah, they're an awesome bunch. Somehow, when I was taken, I was expecting to get awesome kung-fu training, including meditations under a waterfall. But no, they only want me for my "potential". Told me I was "different". Yeah, thanks, I figured out the "different" part the day I torched my apartment. So, great, now this humble Gweipor is a member of the dragon. Whoop-de-fucking-do, more responsibilities, not a good pension plan. No dental that I know of. But at least they uttered one word that got my undivided attention. "Chaos" they said. Now that is something I am willing to deliver. Almost makes this whole secret shindig worth my while.

Tried the waterfall thing anyway. Turns out you only get soaking wet, plus wickedly sore shoulders. No enlightenment for me, no sir.

Me
The name's Breakbeat - friends call me "Break". If you call me "Break" and are not among the chosen few, I will impose the second part of my name on you. Possibly with a hammer, just to make sure you get the message. My real name is not of relevance anymore, or at least so I'm told. Not that you'd be able to pronounce it correctly anyway.
So you probably want to know more about me? Like what? My likes and dislikes? Fuck that shit! What am I? A whack-magazine centerfold?

Yeah, I've got tits. So do roughly fifty percent of the earth's dwindling population. At least I've got the backbone to wear them proudly. Too blunt for you?
How's that for blunt: How come I can shoot fireballs, squash vampires, but still get stomach cramps when I get my period? Fuck you, firefly.



With me, what you see is what you get. And more often then not, you will see the third digit from either of my hands raised in your general direction. And yeah, you can count the digits from the left or the right. But don't worry, I'm probably not telling you to go fuck yourself. I'm telling the world. Because let's face it, she's a bitch. Shoves you and me through the birthcanal of all that's weird, just to leave you on the steps of the next hospital.

We're stuck with what we got, wether we like it or not. And sometimes I really, really don't like the cards I've been dealt. But at least there are some benefits. Travelling is nice, no queues, no uncomfy flight or train seats, no children wailing, no clogged toilets. The off-roads of the world. Now all I need to do is find a portal to Ha-fucking-waii.

Do I sound angry? Sometimes I am. But that's one of the other fringe benefits of my new life: I get an abundance of people to vent out on. Fusang projects? I mean, do you really think they built this thing because the powers-to-be care about who controls the place? Nah, they just get off on watching us whacking each other on the head. Not that I care. I like whacking people on the head. Oh, and it's also where I met one of you.


You
So I was hanging out at Fusang, as I often do - and if that council of Venice envoy doesn't follow up on his promises I'll stuff those damn black marks in his nose - and hit some Temps on the head (repeatedly, just to make sure they weren't missing my point) and this dragon fellow by the name of Zenpao shows up. We take some facs together, and I'd consider taking him and Mako-chan home for a cup of coffee and some O's, but then he tells me about the Recursive Derivation instead. Says I might like it here. Nice people and all that crap. Tells me where to look.

So I looked.

And now I'm here, standing at your door knocking.

Now you can either let me in, and I'll promise that I'll try to be nice. Not that I'll manage that all the time. But if I laugh at you, you can trust me to do it in your face. True friends stab you in the front, don't they?

And if you don't let me in ...

Well, then: f(x) = U exp(ax). With an arbitary U. And an emphasis on the F.

Warning - completly ooc:

On a lighter note - hi there!

As you could read above Zenpao has directed me in the general direction of your cabal and I like what I read so far. So I'd like to join!

I am what you might call a "casual player". Sometimes I'm only on for a couple of minutes (grabbing a well) and more often than not, I'll probably not have the time for dungeons (which comes with a job, a wife and - very soon - a kid).

But I like TSW, and I'm in for the long haul (paid my lifetime fee).

About me: I'm 38 (so yes, I could be the theoretical biological father of most players), male and from Vienna, Austria (no kangaroos).

Hopefully I'll see you soon online!

[Great post, Breakbeat! Hopefully you and one of the officers will be online simultaneously soon!]

((I shall look for you the next time I am active!))

So, as of today, I am now an official member of your elitist club. Thank you Santiak.

And, in the short time since joining you:

* I've called Zenpao fat. Not in so few words, but he still took it to heart, so much that we ...
* Ended up at the Fight club in Seoul and repeatedly solved arguments with weapons until ...
* Santiak also showed up and joined the "discussion". Once all arguments were resolved (and I had to apologize to Z) ...
* I got sincerely frustrated 'cause my offer to go home for "coffee", wink, wink, nudge, nudge went unheard.

All in all: So far I really like your club! Good times all around. I couldn't have wished for a better welcome (expect for the last part, maybe).

I'm sure I would've had more time to enjoy your "welcome new members by hitting on them (repeatedly with weapons)" program, if a black hole hadn't shown up and swallowed the damn universe for 2 hours. Stupid Thursdays. I hate it when that happens. At least we get spit out on a regular basis.

So, consider this post a "Hello" from me to all of you. May your blades never dull, your magic never fail, and your vibrators never break. Like mine just did.
Seriously ... Next time just fetch your effing coffee.

Here's some googly eyes for you so you might want to reconsider future "Nays".



And holy crap, why do I have Matte Groves stuck in my head now? Damn. Time to up the volume on "Rings of Fire" by Wall of Voodoo ...

Off for now, gotta replace broken stuff. Laters.

A holiday, a holiday and the first one of the year...

*hits Fidelicatessen over the head*

*walks away humming*